Where Is Charlie?

FEBRUARY SCHEDULE

2012-02-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

Feb 1-2 SAN FRANCISCO
Feb 3-21 NEW YORK
Feb 22-29 SAN FRANCISCO

JANUARY SCHEDULE

2012-01-08T17:22:00.000-08:00

January 1-20 New York
January 21-31 San Francsico

DECEMBER SCHEDULE

2011-12-21T17:56:00.000-08:00

December 1-13 New York
December 14-15 Denver
December 16-27 California
December 28-31 New York

NOVEMBER SCHEDULE

2011-11-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

November 1-8 New York
November 9-15 San Francisco/Santa Rosa
November 16-20 New York
November 21-22 San Francisco
November 23-27 Akron, OH
November 28-30 New York

OCTOBER SCHEDULE

2011-10-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

October 1-13 New York
October 14-28 San Francisco
October 29-31 New York

SEPTEMBER SCHEDULE

2011-09-07T12:45:00.001-07:00

September 1-12 San Francisco
September 13-22 New York
September 23-30 San Francisco

AUGUST SCHEDULE

2011-08-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry to be so behind!

August 1-12 San Francisco
August 13-15 Aspen
August 16-18 Denver
August 19-23 San Francisco
August 24 New York
August 25-28 Nantucket
August 29 New York
August 30-31 San Francisco

JULY SCHEDULE

2011-06-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

July 1-17 New York
July 18-31 California and Lake Tahoe

JUNE SCHEDULE

2011-06-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

June 1 New York
June 2-5 Nevis
June 6 New York
June 7-14 Tuscany and Rome
June 15-19 London
June 20-23 Normandy
June 24-26 Brittany
June 27-28 Paris
June 29-30 New York

APRIL/MAY SCHEDULE

2011-04-27T11:04:00.001-07:00

April 27-28 New York
April 29-30 Chicago

MAY

May 1 Chicago
May 2-18 New York
May 19-26 San Francisco
May 27-31 New York

MARCH SCHEDULE

2011-03-01T18:16:00.001-08:00

March 1-13 New York
March 14-23 San Francisco
March 24-28 New York
March 29-31 San Francisco

FEBRUARY SCHEDULE

2011-01-21T12:27:00.000-08:00

Feb 1-2 San Francisco
Feb 3-12 New York
Feb 13-23 San Francisco
Feb 24-28 New York

JANUARY SCHEDULE

2011-01-21T12:26:00.001-08:00

Jan 1-12 New York
Jan 13-19 San Francisco
Jan 20-23 New York
Jan 24-27 San Francisco
Jan 28-31 Tahoe

NOVEMBER SCHEDULE

2010-11-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

November 1-7 New York
November 8-14 San Francisco
November 15-21 New York
November 22-29 San Francisco
November 30 New York

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER SCHEDULE

2010-09-13T18:54:00.000-07:00

September 1-13 San Francisco, Tahoe
September 14-21 New York
September 22-29 San Francisco
September 30 Chicago

October 1-3 Chicago
October 4-10 San Francisco/Santa Rosa
October 11-15 New York
October 16-24 London/The Cotswolds
October 25-29 Argentat, FRANCE
October 30-31 London

AUGUST SCHEDULE

2010-08-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, the month is half over....

August 1-6 Breckenridge, CO
August 7-10 Santa Rosa and San Francisco
August 11-18 Sweden (Stockholm, Vasteras, Orebro)
August 19-24 St. Petersburg (Russia)
August 25-31 Northern California

JULY SCHEDULE

2010-07-06T04:07:00.000-07:00

July 1-2 Croatia (Istria)
July 3-5 Venice
July 6-11 New York
July 12-30 San Francisco (with a potential trip to Colorado)

JUNE SCHEDULE

2010-06-03T13:28:00.000-07:00

June 1-4 San Francisco
June 5-7 Lake Tahoe
June 7-11 New York
June 12-25 San Francisco
June 26-30 Croatia

The Quiet Mind

2010-05-17T20:49:00.002-07:00

I was catching up on "The Tudors" on Showtime, and the Earl of Surrey was translating the following poem:

THE MEANS TO ATTAIN HAPPY LIFE

MARTIAL, the things that do attain
The happy life be these, I find:—
The richesse left, not got with pain;
The fruitful ground, the quiet mind;

The equal friend; no grudge, no strife;
No charge of rule, nor governance;
Without disease, the healthful life;
The household of continuance;

The mean diet, no delicate fare;
True wisdom join’d with simpleness;
The night dischargèd of all care,
Where wine the wit may not oppress.

The faithful wife, without debate;
Such sleeps as may beguile the night:
Contented with thine own estate
Ne wish for death, ne fear his might.

He then turns to the Duke of Suffolk, who sadly and wistfully says, "I have none of those things." I found the poem rather inspiring, and I would like to live a life that encompasses as many of these as possible.

MAY SCHEDULE

2010-05-17T20:49:00.001-07:00

May 1-May 31 San Francisco

APRIL SCHEDULE

2010-03-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

April 1-12 New York
April 13-14 San Francisco
April 15-18 Laguna Beach and San Diego
April 19-27 San Francisco
April 28-30 New York

MARCH SCHEDULE

2010-03-15T12:34:00.001-07:00

March 1-3 New York
March 4-7 Puerto Vallarta
March 8-11 New York
March 12-30 San Francico

FEBRUARY SCHEDULE

2010-02-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

February 1-11 New York
February 12-23 San Francisco
February 24-25 New York
February 26-28 Boston

JANUARY 2010 SCHEDULE

2010-01-10T12:30:00.001-08:00

Jan 1 - Jan 14 New York
Jan 14 - Jan 30 San Francisco

NOVEMBER SCHEDULE

2009-11-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

November 1-22 New York
November 23-29 San Francisco/Kenwood
November 30- New York
December 15

The Intellectual Devotional Strikes Again! Fun Quiz!

2009-10-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

My friend Joy Tutela is the literary agent for the "The Intellectual Devotional" series of books. The newest one is "The Intellectual Devotional Health." Please take a few minutes and do the following quiz. Have fun!

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33347488/ns/today-today_health/

October Schedule

2009-10-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

October 1-4 Chicago
October 5-9 San Francisco
October 10-11 Las Vegas
October 12-19 New York
October 20-22 San Francisco
October 23-25 Atlantic City
October 25-31 New York

SEPTEMBER SCHEDULE

2009-09-03T18:22:00.000-07:00

September 1-10 San Francisco and Kenwood
September 11-13 New York
September 14-16 San Francisco (and getting Lasik surgery!)
September 17-18 Denver
September 19-20 Las Vegas
September 21-23 San Francisco
September 24-30 New York

What a fantastic idea

2009-08-27T10:17:00.002-07:00

With sincere apologies to my good friends from law school and my dear cousins, this is a really genius solution for the State of Texas.

Except for you guys, there is nothing positive to say. Ugly terrain, horrible food, liars and thieves, jingoistic attitudes, oversized vehicles, teased hair, and an insufferable self-satisfaction about all the above. Good Night, and Good Luck.

P.S. My addendum to the plan in the video is to bring Puerto Rico on as the 50th state; that way we won't even have to change the flag!

August Schedule

2009-08-27T10:17:00.001-07:00

IN CALIFORNIA THE WHOLE MONTH!

JULY SCHEDULE

2009-07-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

July 1-8 SAN FRANCISCO/KENWOOD
July 9-16 TOKYO
July 16-20 SAN FRANCISCO
July 20-27 NEW YORK
July 27-31 SAN FRANCISCO

European Vacation, Day 7

2009-06-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

Having neglected my ambitious museum program yesterday, I took a more Continental breakfast and set out to conquer as much of London as I could before heading to Berkshire to stay with my cousins. My first stop (after yet another unsuccessful attempt to pay for what I had bought at Christie’s—and, yes, Molly Ott Ambler, I am eating humble pie about that right now) was the Tate Modern, which I’d heard about for years but never visited. Not surprisingly, it’s not exactly my taste, although I think it’s very cool that they used an old power station to house the collection (although in that vein, I prefer the Musée d’Orsay for re-use of a space). There were two exhibitions at this time: Material Gestures and Poetry and Dream. The latter at least had some representational paintings in them, which I rather liked—the aesthetic was rather like that of a Cecil Beaton photograph. There were also several Surrealist paintings, which is a genre I have always liked, and one installation called “Thirty Pieces of Silver,” wherein the artist took multitudinous objects in silver—trombones, teapots, trays, forks, letter caddies, etc.—arranged them in a street, and then had a bulldozer run over them, then she suspended them about 6 inches off the floor. The idea was that these had probably been wedding, christening, presentation, or other gifts, and she found them all in junk shops, so the title evinces the betrayal of Christ by Judas in the way that the gift-givers had been betrayed by their recipients (or their heirs). It was interesting and thoughtful without seeming like the artist was trying too hard to impress you with her strident political polemics. I was also affected by a couple of enormous Matisse collages, wherein he was trying to get down to essentials (color more than shape) of art through these very simple, bold designs. Don’t get me wrong, I liked them. But what is all this about getting down to essentials? Is there an implied criticism that the preceding centuries (or perhaps millennia) of art produced were saddled with non-essential elements? Just because a Renaissance or Baroque painting has more “stuff” in it doesn’t necessarily mean that that stuff is not essential, does it? Whether it is a putto that is adding balance, or allegorical meaning, or just plain beauty to a painting, does that mean it’s non-essential? Remember in the movie Amadeus, when Salieri is describing Mozart’s compositions, and he says, “Displace one note, and there would be diminishment”? And then Emperor Joseph II later criticizes the premiere of Die Entführung aus dem Serail by claiming it has “too many notes”? Well, I’m the first to admit that some things have been overdone in the past (think ormolu-encrusted furniture, although it made sense within the aesthetic of the day), but that’s different than what (it seemed to me) Matisse was doing.

After a very British lunch of cottage pie and chips (OK, and a pint of Guinness) at the very Britishly-named The White Hart, I headed for the Museum of London, as recommended by Selene Morgan. Like the Cabinet War Rooms Museum, I didn’t realize how much time I had spent there. Very well done, ranging from prehistoric artifacts from the Thames River Valley, to the hunter-gatherer time, to an excellent look at life under the Romans, to the Great Fire in 1666. Again, absolutely worth a visit for anyone who’s a history buff and/or wants to learn more about that incredible city.

I hied myself hence to Waterloo to catch the train to Wokingham, home of Olive (my mother’s second cousin, and they were really more like sisters) and Andrew MacDonald. They live in a charming Tudor house (from 1490, and they have all the old deeds—super cool) on Rose Street. Having worked as a colonial agricultural officer in Sierra Leone, Uganda, and Mauritius, the house is filled with fascinating items gathered over the course of their travels all over Africa and the world. I was just in time for tea (well, sorta—they were nice enough to push it back for me), where we caught up on each other’s lives and I heard all about the latest big scandal in British politics, which is that the members of Parliament have not documented, nor properly used, allowances funded by the public that were, in everything but name, salary increases. There is a huge amount of outrage about this, at least in the Telegraph, and the issue has even appeared in the NYT, which has called for our Congress to learn from this incident and have full disclosure of its own expenses.

European Vacation, Days 5 and 6

2009-06-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

DAY 5

The farewell brunch provided some much-needed sustenance, and it was nice to see how well everyone had, overall, recovered from the last night’s revelry. One nice chap at my table was still in his tuxedo, which I loved. Something to shoot for next year! My new friend Jean very kindly offered to take me to the airport in his racing green Bentley; apparently he is a car nut, which was confirmed when he (paradoxically) filled his car with the wrong fuel and we had to abandon it at the gas station and head back and complete the journey in his brown Rolls. I mean, who lives like this? It was fun to interlope in that world for a little bit. Hopefully I can drop by his restaurant when I head to Tokyo next month for my cousin Hans’s wedding. (Yes, you read that right.)

After picking up some French goodies (Veuve and foie gras) for my Scottish relatives, I got on the plane for London, which is one of my favorite cities. I (stupidly) took a cab into Central London, and it cost over £80. Unless you must take one, or you have scads of scratch, I recommend finding another way of getting into town. I was staying at the Athenaeum Club, which is right on Pall Mall in St. James’s, or what my friend Chris Patz calls “Man’s London.” Jermyn Street alone would be enough to earn it that moniker, after all. Let’s be clear; the Athenaeum has an unbeatable location: walking distance to Piccadilly, the West End, Trafalgar Square, and so forth. The rooms, however, are pretty down at heel. But for £102 a night, you can’t beat the price in the most expensive city on Earth, and it’s all the more incentive to get out and do things rather than hang out in the room, say I. A very, and necessarily, recession-friendly strategy.

I spent the afternoon planning the rest of my stay in London, had a delicious dinner (who woulda thunk?) and got some rest.

DAY 6

Today I tried to cram as much as possible into it. The day started with a full English breakfast, which results in a total food coma. It took everything I had not to go back upstairs and lie down. Of course, reading the International Herald Tribune about the trials and tribulations in Iran helped. I am so hopeful that the miscarriage of process and justice that are the most recent elections, and the justified public outcry, will start to chip away at the oppressive policies of the regime and show up the powers-that-be for what they are. I wish Obama would be less wishy-washy in his response to the situation, though. Where is the outstretched hand that he referred to in his inaugural address (which was a powerful image that I loved)? What’s this business about “continuing to bear witness”? Anemic, very.
After an unsuccessful attempt (to be followed later by equally unsuccessful attempts—you can bet Visa is going to be hearing from me) to pay for one of my Russian glasses I had snapped up at auction at Christie’s, I went to the Cabinet War Rooms and Churchill Museum, which was also within walking distance. They do an amazing job with the museums in London. I barely realized I had spent over 2 hours there. The museum is a faithful recreation of the conditions under which Churchill and his cabinet ran the war in 1940 with an excellent and informative audio guide. You then detour into the museum devoted to Churchill the man, and in listening to excerpts of some of his speeches in the early days of the war (the fall of France, the miracle at Dunkirk, the RAF’s prevailing in the Battle of Britain), I defy anyone not to feel chills of admiration at the bravery and sacrifice of these incredible people; I’ll be honest, my eyes teared up. His speeches are incredibly stirring and pack a helluva punch; you get to see the drafting process, plus embark on a journey through various aspects of his life as a writer, journalist, up-and-coming politician, disgraced politician, neglected child, family man, painter, leader, and inspiration. While the overall tone is admiring, it is not sycophantic. If you are at all a student of history, you cannot miss this.

Next was a Patz-guided tour through Man’s London. Taylor’s for shaving cream, Trickers for awesome shoes, looking in the windows of Turnbull & Asser, Longmire for cuff links that, oh yes, one day will be mine (when I win the lottery). The Savoy is apparently closed for renovations, the Ritz is a ripoff (even if you can get a reservation), and so I tried the almost-as-venerable Brown’s Hotel for afternoon tea. (An interesting historical note is that Brown's was established by Lord Byron's butler and his wife, their maid.) They did an excellent job, and for about half the price as the Ritz, plus they were incredibly attentive, and there are bottomless scones and sandwiches. I definitely recommend it. (However, as an interesting side note, they gave me a little sample of tea to take home, which provoked comment—lucky for me, I got an inspector with a sense of humor—when going through security at Heathrow on the way home. “That’s not what I think it is, is it?” said the chap about the loose green leaves in the clear plastic bag. Just a word to the wise, people.)

After a much-needed nap, I went to my fifth-choice theater performance. The Globe was already booked, as was The Cherry Orchard, so I went to Mamma Mia! I’d half-meant to see it for a while, and so here was my chance. The way in which the ABBA principals cobbled together a plot out of their songs is actually worthy of some admiration, and their business acumen is really worthy of admiration. The singing and acting by the women was pretty good, the men less so, but it was a helluva feel-good evening, aided by a generous Pimm’s Cup at intermission and the fact that they reprised a bunch of numbers and expected and got audience participation (clapping, singing, dancing in the aisles) at the end of the show. Good times.

European Vacation, Day 4

2009-06-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

After another recovery period, I headed down to the Miami Beach Club, which was supposed to be the locale for a pre-Bal beach party. Although I didn’t seem to locate the rest of the crew, I had a pleasant afternoon on the Mediterranean. They have oddly-shaped, but eventually comfortable, demi-chaises-longues scattered throughout the fine pebbles, and one can order table service right on the beach. It was fun to watch the tourists, families, and twenty-somethings on holiday. (Although I’m in general happy with my choices in life, I would have taken my twenties a little less seriously had I it to do over again.) The Med beckoned, and while a bit chilly at first, it was eventually very pleasant and rather astounding to turn back towards shore and look up at the precipitous cliffs and pastel-colored villas under the azure sky and realize how lucky I am.

I joined Brent, Adam, and Karim at the Café de Paris (not surprisingly, just across from the hotel) and we enjoyed some well-advised sustenance before the ball. The first group of rotating women that came by were what turned out to be three Bahraini sisters in rather preposterous hats and blood-red lipstick. They had little conversation, so it was a relief when they were replaced by a couple of other Bal-goers who told a hilarious story about having accepted a boat ride to Italy from some billionaire who may or may not work as a bartender and, in the need to escape his clutches, had to leave behind their shoes in the boat and hitch a ride in a pickup from some construction workers. They were thoughtful, interesting gals, and the talk turned—as it often does—to relationships. Brent shared his theory that the whole system of marriage is an out-of-date arrangement that made sense when the life expectancy was 35 but does no longer, and that being cleaved to one person is unnatural. I can see his logic, but I think I am rather more romantic than that and still hope to find someone, not who will complete me, but who will enhance me and make me a better man.

The hour was late, and my hoped-for disco nap was made an impossibility, so I threw on the tux and Gabrielle, Gray, and I planned to head out when we were diverted to the Hermitage for a pre-party overlooking the Mediterranean and I was called on for some sartorial assistance. The Bahraini sisters were there once again in hats that had gone from improbable to weird/dangerous. One had an enormous feather that, if one were at the wrong height, could easily result in a poked-out eye. Completing the getup was some sort of orange Navajo blanket. Karim was wearing a very darinig, custom-made tuxedo jacket of black-and-white paisley with white piping on the lapels; hats off, as I wouldn’t have had the cojones, but he wore it well.

The Bal started with cocktails on the lawn outside the Sport Club, which afforded more interesting people-watching. One chap showed up in, I kid you not, a kilt, with a fake parrot attached to his right shoulder, and wearing a nametag—you know, in case you confused him with the other guy wearing a kilt and a parrot. On the whole, the crowd was probably 25-50 in age, although there was one rather distinguished older gentleman, but his female companion had a black skirt, a Soviet-era blouse, baggy hose, and orthopedic-looking shoes. It was like he had brought Colonel Rosa Klebb as his date. We were finally ushered into the Sport Club, which had been beautifully decorated and had a very high ceiling strewn with stars. Rudolf kindly had me at his table, and I had a very nice seat as well—he’s a marvelous host and brought together a nice bunch of people for the dinner. Somehow, the conversation was oddly disjointed, but those who wanted to participate (mainly in English and German) were able to find some common friends or interests. There was an entertainment portion of the evening that was—luckily, compared to last year, I’m told—quite brief, and then the dancing to a pretty good DJ began. Not as many of our tablemates were as up for dancing, but I made do; Lauralouise was especially good. After the required interlude at Jimmy’z, which was much better than the prior evenings, we ended the night at Adam’s suite at the Hermitage, hot tub and all, overlooking the Mediterranean. By that point in the evening—or rather, morning—I was so tired I can’t remember much of the interactions except that I was prevailed upon to put up or shut up on my claims to be an aspiring opera singer, so I managed as best I could to croak out some Don Giovanni, and the reception was overall positive. I stayed long enough to watch the sun rise over the sea, which was beautiful and fun to say and know I had done, and then I staggered home with promises on all sides to connect soon in New York or France or Japan or Estonia or Austria or wherever else.

European Vacation, Day 3

2009-06-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

Now I know why the Hotel de Paris is able to offer an elaborate free breakfast in conjunction with the Bal de l’Été; I would be stunned if anyone got up in time to partake of it! Despite setting two wake-up calls, I was unable to get up before noon. I decided to take advantage of the SBM reciprocity and head over to the Monte Carlo Beach Club to catch some rays and enjoy the water. Unsurprisingly for Monaco, not only do you have to pay 5 euros to rent towels, but you have to choose: pool or beach. Not both. By total happenstance I was placed next to Gabrielle and Gray, so we spent the afternoon chatting amicably and uproariously about the characters we had encountered so far over the weekend (in addition to the mostly fantastic people): arrivistes, hangers-on, social climbers, and Casanovas in brocade suits. The saltwater pool had many diving platforms and was a welcome respite from the hot sun, and we had a very pleasant interlude.

I headed over to the aptly named (i.e., very Baroque and lovely) Hermitage Hotel to pick up my passes for the weekend (including, mercifully, some discount coupons for the infamous Jimmy’z). The suite that was headquarters looked like something out of a movie set in a WWII bunker or the War Rooms museum in London rather than the venue for international partygoers. After joining G and G for a very nice rosé and canapés in their suite, we miraculously grabbed a taxi to the pre-Bal cocktail party where we had spent the afternoon sunning ourselves. I finally had a chance to meet our hostess/organizer, Catherine. When I asked Heinrich, a very nice chap whom I’d met over the course of the weekend, how his first meeting with her (ours was sort of dismissive and frosty) went, he informed us that she had peremptorily told him “to wear a tie next time.” I would argue that a woman in some sort of Caribbean-slash-Pocahontas getup shouldn’t criticize other people’s sartorial choices, but maybe that’s just me. (Perhaps I am just prejudiced because our initially cordial e-mail correspondence soured when she told me that she found my additional donation to her cause “quite small in comparison with her other guests.”) Anyhow, the cocktail party was very nice. I had the pleasure of running into my good buddy Mark Baer, who is now living in London and who I hadn’t known was coming. Eventually I wound up with the charming couple of Anric and Lauralouise, who live in Oyster Bay, and we made many trips back to the excellent buffet supper and I had a very enjoyable conversation with Beth, an incoming NYU public health student—maybe I can get her to take my apartment next door?

Before the evening descended into the usual champagne-soaked, techno-imbued, well-dressed denouement at Jimmy’z, we went to a charming venue called the Sea Lounge. Right on the ocean, with sort of a tiki feel, it was a nice change. From there, it was kind of a nice walk along the sea, and it allowed us to get our bearings back a bit before you-know-where. More than anything, I have to say that the best part of the event is meeting so many people; they’re rather like how Nick Carraway describes the guests at a Great Gatsby party, where “their simplicity of heart was the only requirement of admission.” Or something like that.

European Vacation Part 2, Day Two

2009-06-15T01:33:00.000-07:00

After a sumptuous breakfast in the aforementioned terrace/garden restaurant, I figured (rightly, as it turns out) that this would be my best and only chance to do some sight-seeing. So I set off into the beautiful sunshine to explore the postage-stamp-sized principality. The Hotel de Paris is located more easterly, while the old town of Monaco is located in a more westerly direction. The bus was an excellent way to get there and only cost 1 euro (taxis are wickedly expensive). I wandered around the palace/cathedral area while waiting for the changing of the guard at 11:55. The cathedral is lovely and comparatively small, and of course was where the wedding of Prince Rainier and Grace Kelly took place. The cult of Princess Grace is alive and well: her grave has many floral tributes, and everywhere throughout the principality there are sandwich boards with “Parcours de Princesse Grace” on them, displaying pictures of her (my God, she really was lovely) at ceremonial functions during her reign. After the changing of the guard, which was really not such a big deal, I toured the public rooms of the royal palace. The audio guide is excellent, although it has the typical breathless narrative about family history and damask wallpaper. The rooms are quite beautifully decorated in various French styles, but again the scale is vastly different in its smallness—I know that is rather unfelicitously phrased—from all the other palaces one sees in Europe. I found myself wondering if Grace Kelly found it pretty small potatoes, in some way, after Hollywood.

After a delicious lunch (where the earthy and delightful waitress was very complimentary of my French) of tagliatelle carbonara, I checked out the collection (which is not to say museum) of the classic cars of the Princes of Monaco. It’s a clever setup, because I suspect that they can take them out of the building whenever they want and yet are able to charge a few euros for you to see them, which helps maintain them. Although I’m not a car nut, I enjoy a good automobile as much as the next guy, so it was fun to see all the beautiful old Jaguars, Rolly Royces, Citroëns, and Fords. My ramble then took me to one of the marinas where some incredibly beautiful, sleek yachts were berthed. Not a bad life for those folks! The area beyond the marina was not worth the wander, although I happened upon the (you guessed it) Princesse Grace rose garden, which was a pretty and fragrant place to relax for a little bit. Overall, Monaco is lovely, charming, and highly manicured—rather like Palm Beach in some ways. Blades of grass are not allowed to be out of place.

Went down to pool to try and get some color for the ball, but instead ran into Brent and Adam so we chatted for a good while before taking a dip in the salt water swimming pool of the Société des Bains de Mer (which is the umbrella organization for the Hotel de Paris and its sister hotels). There was just enough time for a short nap and a change of clothes before meeting in the bar for drinks, where I had the good fortune to run into Gabrielle and Grayson, two folks I had known slightly in New York and had met at the Morgan Library Christmas party. They were to join us and several others for a dinner at Mandarin organized by Prince Rudolf Kniase Melikoff, whom I had met about 3 years ago at the opening of the opera in San Francisco and who is a veteran of the ball. The German Casanova was there as well in a, shall we say, gutsy sartorial choice of a black brocade suit. I asked him where he got it, and was astonished when he said Prada because he’s an even bigger guy than I am, although apparently in Germany they make things on bigger lines. On the walk to the restaurant, I started chatting with Sarah, an attractive and charming woman who had lived in many of the same places I had. Completely platonic. However, it seems Herr Brocade is one of those guys who views interaction between the sexes as a zero-sum game: as soon as we got to the restaurant, he took her hand and stage whispered, “I want you to set next to me.” God bless, buddy. He then proceeded to put the moves on Gabrielle who had done nothing more than be her warm and gracious self, but that he took as a come-on. My dinner partner was Robin, a charming gal from Australia; our end of the table was definitely the lively one. Despite that, though, the crazy schedule and travel began to catch up with me and I was starting to fall asleep during the conversation. Note to self: must train for the ball if I ever go again. More sleep. Maybe an exercise regimen so I have more energy. After a delicious, if pricey, dinner, we moved on to Velos, which was a decidedly marginal venue. The waitress was surly at best, and once again I started to fall asleep—yikes.

Our last stop was the famous Jimmy’z, which Jennifer—another of our dinner companions—insisted she knew how to get to. Not so much, as our meanderings took us at one point to a car park. Industrial lighting and exposed ductwork is probably not consonant with a glitzy nightclub. Inside I didn’t think Jimmy’z was all that, frankly. Lots of Euro-techno; one song in particular had a lyric that was “Yes I am your punching bag.” Huh? We did at least get a table. It came my turn to buy a “round,” which was magnums of champagne. I followed suit and got one of Mumm’s that could be had for the bargain price of…540 euros. Mumm’s, people. Mumm’s!!!! The taste of the champagne was not quite enough to overpower the bile. We ended the night over (frankly delicious) pizza and lasagna at Tip Top. The walk home was lovely in the indigo pre-dawn, and at 5:30 it was definitely time for bed.

European Vacation Part 2, Day One

2009-06-13T07:53:00.001-07:00

OK, so getting to Monaco was not easy. A couple tips for all you travelers out there:

1) If you are flying Air France out of JFK (and maybe other airports), you might have to check in at Delta. I don't give a rat's ass if you guys are codeshare partners, United doesn't make you do something as silly and pointless as that.

2) If you run into a situation like (1) above, THAT'S when you need to get to the airport 2 hours early for an international flight. I literally went up to Delta representatives BEGGING them to help me not miss my flight. Not so much, it would seem. Surly and incompetent, to a person--they're gonna get a "Charlie letter."

So I had to buy a last-minute ticket to Monaco and back through London on British Airways. Yeah, that was all kinds of cheap. The flight was pretty empty, and so I hoped I could stretch out on a row of seats. There were 3 in a row, but the whole front row was open, so I went up there and a couple grabbed the 3 seats I had my eye on. Turns out you can't lift the arms between the seats in the front row. Then I got my drink, and someone knocked into my elbow, so I spilled it on myself. Then some random old guy took a seat at the other end of the front row and proceeded--on an overnight flight, mind you--to read the Talmud the whole flight, with the reading light shining on me. I got to Monaco in not the best mood ever.

BUT...once I had, everything was duck soup from then on. My room at the lovely Hotel de Paris was ready right away, and it was comfortable and cool. Famished, I took lunch at the garden hotel in the restaurant. The Mediterranean was in the distance, and the air was redolent of jasmine. The staff was attentive, pleasant, and sunny, and it was the perfect antidote to the hell that had preceded it, as was the massage that followed. At one point, I ate a delicious meringue dessert that reminded me of something Mom used to make, and my eyes stung with the beautiful memory and the dazzling Mediterranean sunshine.

After a much-needed nap, I gussied up and went down to the Bar Americain for a pre-Bal de l'Ete cocktail party hosted by Adam Schran and Brent Smith, two very affable chaps who know a good many folks at the Bal. (Oddly, "Bal" is pronounced not with a long "a," as one would expect, but instead with a short "a," like when Bertie Wooster refers to one of his imbroglios in a Wodehouse novel as "bally.") There was a charming international crowd of Austrians, Dutch, Germans, French, Romanians, and Americans, all of whom speak excellent English and most of whom keep a couple of residences. I have to give a shout out here to Mme. Stephens and Mlle. Sikora, because I got an unending flow of compliments on my French--great job, ladies! Thanks for teaching me so well.

After hurling 24 Euros at a Pimm's Cup and similar sums at flutes of champagne, I and the other folks still standing headed out to a place called, I kid you not, Sass. At some point during my sojourn there, I texted the following to Chris Patz: "I think I may have become Eurotrash." He responded: "Spiking your hair, overdoing cologne, wearing too many pastel colors? I think not." Brilliant. And by that definition, to be fair, the Sass crowd was not Eurotrash either. I ended the night "early" at 3:30 AM. I think it's going to be a fun weekend!

May/June Schedule

2009-05-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

May 1-May 11 New York
May 12-May 17 San Francisco
May 18-May 23 New York
May 24-May 27 Vienna
May 28-June 1 Paris
June 2-June 9 New York
June 10-June 14 Monaco
June 15-June 21 London
June 22-June 30 San Francisco/Kenwood

Quote Log, Part V

2009-04-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

“My hangover told me it won’t leave unless it’s fed.”
--Chris Patz

"Dude, I gotta start exploiting charity more often"
--Barrett Fallentine re: meeting nice girls in San Francisco

Charlie: I have no idea what to get you for your birthday.
Danna Chung: There's no size requirement with cash.

“Let's play 'Passive Aggressive'! It's not just for Thanksgiving anymore.”
--Barbie Beatie

"To quote my good friend Charlie on a great, warm November day, 'It's not an inconvenient truth, it's a bitchin' truth.'"
--Candace Banks

"The human race has not devised any way of dissolving barriers...that is one tenth as handy and efficient as letting you and the other chap, or chaps, cease to be totally sober at about the same rate in agreeable surroundings."
-Sir Kingsley Amis

Jessica Gould: No-one does five hours of incest and racial superiority like Richard Wagner.
Charlie: Except for a family of lute-playing phrenologists from Appalachia I once met.

Jacques Lehot: Dude, can I just put my wallet in your fanny pack for ONE ride [at Six Flags]?
Chris La Chance: No way. I'm going to tell you what's going to happen. I let ONE doggy come to that bowl....

"I think Virginia is the perfect kind of East Coast; it’s just redneck enough."
--Lisa Overton

"At the Rex. Doesn’t live up to the name. Nice but perhaps better called The Pleb."
--Chris Patz

“I'd blog about the experience [Heppner and Voigt singing in Tristan], but first there are fires in Sydney and Jakarta that must be put out from New York. Who knew I could spew cold, flame-stifling venom across so many time zones?”
--Jonathan Funke

Alexa Hampton: I am never calling you again. Instead, I will be solipsistically thinking of myself.
Charlie: As opposed to solipsistically thinking of others?

Charlie: It sounds like your house--like mine--is one of the outposts where political correctness came to die.
Barbara Mouk: Well, no. It went screaming out the front door.

Charlie: Note to self: If feeling blue or low self-esteemy, go to Safeway at 10:16 PM on a Monday night. Will feel thin, literate, and legal.

And for the really tough days...

“Whom best I love I cross; to make my gift/the more delay’d, delighted.”
--Jupiter, Cymbeline, Act V

MARCH/APRIL SCHEDULE

2009-03-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

March 1-12 New York
March 13-24 San Francisco
March 25-31 New York
April 1-19 New York
April 20-29 San Francisco

Charlie Schlangen February Schedule

2009-02-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

Feb 1-13 New York
Feb 14-25 San Francisco and Sonoma County
Feb 25-28 New York

Cell Phone Do Not Call List

2009-02-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

Friends,

REMEMBER: Cell Phone Numbers Go Public today

REMINDER... all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing
companies tomorrow and you will start to receive sale calls.....

YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS as they will count towards your minutes.

To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone:
888-382-1222.

It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of your
time. It blocks your number for five (5) years. You must call from the cell
phone number you want to have blocked.. You cannot call from a different
phone number.

FYI: I just called this number and verified it (and blocked my cell number).

2009: So Far, So Good

2009-01-09T06:32:00.001-08:00

As many of you know, for years now I have declared on the 31st of December: "This year HAS to be better." And that I have usually been disappointed, often cruelly. Well, this might just be the moment, my friends! Even if it's only comparative. But let's keep the good thoughts for the New Year for all of us--we deserve it.

New Year's Eve has never been my favorite holiday, but NYE 2008 was fun for a change. The lovely Erin Uyttewaal invited me along on a house party in Breckenridge, CO ("Breck" for the cognoscenti) with a bunch of really nice folks from Atlanta. We had several days of skiing (in my case), snowboarding (in everyone else's), drinking, homemade breakfasts (one memorable one included cheesy eggs, English muffins, rib-eye steaks, and...pizza), mocking of infomercials (especially the "Snuggie"), and camaraderie.

(L to R: Niki, Charlie, Charlie, Erin)

Stopped off in Denver for a quick visit on the way out to NYC. After destroying a rental car--in a parking garage, mind you--I went over to the home of my dear friend, Philae Knight. She lost her stepfather on New Year's Day during a ski trip to Aspen. When I stopped by to pay my condolences (they live in Denver), their glorious home was filled with friends, relatives, and well-wishers. He was clearly an exceptional man and it inspired me to think about the kind of legacy that I would like to leave on this Earth, and a houseful of people celebrating the special person you were, the light you brought to others' lives, and devastated you were gone seems like a pretty good place to start. It was a sad privilege to be there with that special family.

It was splendid to return to NYC after all the hustle and bustle, especially to so many nice Christmas cards and the memories of the 6th Annual Schlangen Christmas party, which was the usual rollicking good time of inebriated caroling, people meeting other folks they decided they had to become friends with, and joy amid a gloomy season of financial and employment news.
-
OK, on to happier things! Wednesday night was a visit, under the auspices of The Morgan Library, to the Downtown Association (aka the DTA) to view their impressive collection of historical prints about the City of New York. It's a remarkable building with several private dining rooms and even a Game Room, which name does double duty as the room is replete with pool tables AND a taxidermy collection. (One of our number whimsically inserted a toothpick into an elk's mouth--wonder when they will find that.) Dinner and Guinness with the boys followed at Ulysses, which doesn't have the same raucous luster during a recession that it does in the high-flying days. One has to imagine pin-striped twenty- and thirty-somethings, full of piss, vinegar, and testosterone ordering buckets of 36 beers and plates of raw seafood and toasting their quick, assured ascent to Masters of the Universe. Nowadays...not so much.

Last night was Thais at the Met. I'll be honest, the first act was disappointing, but as the opera went on I became enchanted. Hell, I'd stay for that beautiful Meditation, which the first violinist knocked out of the park. As the opera went on, Renee Fleming's singing and acting, and Thomas Hampson's singing (the acting was already good) improved markedly. And damn that Renee Fleming is in great shape! I had the pleasure of sharing the experience with Jennifer Bowden (a fellow U Club and Morgan member) and Diana Chazaud (a fellow Metropolitan Opera Club denizen), and then we headed off to PJ Clarke's for cocktails. There was one star sighting (Timothy Hutton, at the restaurant) and possibly two (I'm convinced I saw a ridden-hard-and-put-away-wet Cybill Shepard on the Vilar--oops! Mercedes Bass--Grand Tier).

Looking forward to a great weekend!

DECEMBER 2008-JANUARY 2009 SCHEDULE

2008-12-28T23:53:00.000-08:00

DECEMBER 2008

12/29-30 Tahoe
12/31-1/4/2009 Breckenridge, CO
1/5/2009 Denver
1/6-1/19 New York
1/20-1/31 San Francisco

On a scale of "one" to "laughing my freakin' ass off"....

2008-11-28T14:33:00.000-08:00

This was about a 9.4.

1970s Photo Gallery

NOVEMBER SCHEDULE

2008-11-03T16:11:00.000-08:00

Nov 1-2 San Francisco
Nov 3-24 New York
Nov 25-Dec 4 San Francisco/Sonoma County

October is turning out to be a great month!

2008-10-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

Dad continues to improve, which is the best news of all. His therapists are very happy with his progress, and that is especially so now that he has a plastic leg brace that helps reduce the strain on his muscles, results in his expending less effort to walk, and minimizes the dragging of his left foot. His spirits are excellent, and why not? He’s getting out and doing things and the grapes have been picked. I’m delighted for him.

On the business front, the Texas property is recovering reasonably quickly from the visit from Hurricane Ike, and it is nice to be able to provide housing to people that need it. The complex in Denver is now 100% leased, which is quite something in a down economy. The last vacant space was taken by the US Post Office. How’s this for government thinking? They lost their old lease and had to move quickly, and my space was their first choice, and they were prepared to sink a lot of money into the space to make it work and meet their needs. However, because of the fact that the whole thing is supposed to be thrown open as a business opportunity to all comers, the lease term is for only one year with one-year options. Does this make any sense? I’m not bothered as a landlord, as I know they will stay; rather, I am bothered as a taxpayer. What if they were to sink all that money into the space and then leave after a year? You and I, dear reader, would be footing the bill for that. It makes absolutely no business sense whatsoever. I remember encountering similar ways of doing things when I was looking for a job in Washington, D.C. after college. For example, there was a job for which I was qualified, but there was a mad rush to get my resume in the very day I learned about it, before “the position closed.” I had to get that concept explained to me, like, twice—that’s how incredulous I was. What that means is, open positions are only allowed to stay open for a prescribed period of time, after which they close. Period. Even if you haven’t hired someone. Even if you still need those job responsibilities filled. Huh?

The last two weeks were a splendid fortnight in New York. I saw many friends whom I’ve missed greatly, and one of the standouts was a reading at The Grolier Club of “Vita and Virginia,” a play based on the diaries and correspondence of Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf. It was inspiring and daunting at the same time: oh to be able to write like that! With wit, elegance, passion, and to paint a vivid mental picture with economy of language. And Alison Fraser, who read the part of Virginia, was a charming and talented lady whom I had the privilege of chatting with later when a group of us went out for dinner. She is currently in the revival of Gypsy, which I plan to see when I am in town again next month.
I’ll be honest, though, the highlight was last Saturday night the 18th. I’ve been working for the past several months on a benefit to raise money for brain cancer research, and my original idea of a rather homespun musical evening became a grand concert and reception at the University Club of New York. We partnered with an existing 501(c)(3), The Gruson Fund for Brain Tumor Research and Care. First Dr. Susan Pannullo, Head of Neuro-Oncology at New York Presbyterian Hospital, gave a brief and compelling address about the need for funding brain cancer research. Indeed, over 50,000 Americans will be diagnosed with primary brain tumors this year alone. Then came the music. The glorious music. Andrew Appel and Ryan Brown (up from D.C.) treated us to a G-major Bach sonata for harpsichord and violin. Then the Orchestra of the Clarion Music Society (whose board I have recently joined) accompanied 6 opera singers—myself included!—in a selection of Mozart arias and ensembles from Così fan tutte, Don Giovanni, and Die Zauberflöte. I was joined by astoundingly good singers: Jessica Gould, Bridget Best, Virginia Warnken, Rufus Müller, and Branch Fields. We’re talking people who are currently in South Pacific, who have sung at Carnegie and Avery Fisher Halls. If you’re ever feeling bummed out or stressed, go sing some Mozart, in a church if possible (for the acoustics). Most of the musicians donated their time in memory of someone they have lost to brain cancer, which was incredibly generous and touching. The crowd loved the event and we got a standing ovation. I was walking on air the whole next day. What a thrill!

OCTOBER SCHEDULE

2008-10-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

October 1-2 San Francisco
October 3-5 Chicago
October 6-20 New York
October 21-31 San Francisco/Kenwood

I think we could all use a boost

2008-09-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

The last week or so has been a real doozy, hasn't it? On top of everything else, apparently there is extensive damage at my Houston property due to Hurricane Ike: downed trees, blown-down carports, roof leaks, soaked carpets (with potential for mold), you get the idea. Of course, the main thing is that all the residents appear to be safe, but this is n0t good.

Then of course the turmoil in the financial markets. I am keeping the good thoughts for all my Merrill Lynch and Lehman friends. Hang in there, it will be OK.

For those who would like to start the week off with a countermeasure to all the junk raining down on us, I've always found that Mozart helps. Watch this lovely rendition of Soave sia il vento from Cosi fan tutte. I would also recommend "You are the New Day," sung here by The King's Singers. "Hope is my philosophy."

Getting Back to Normal

2008-08-18T14:56:00.000-07:00

Bill has been home for almost two weeks now and things are going very well. He is progressing daily, and the only person not impressed with his progress is...Bill. I keep telling him how enthusiastic the physical and occupational therapists are, as well as the doctors, and so please feel free to join in my cheerleading when you talk to/visit him. I think it helps keep his spirits up.

Rocki, Bill's 24/7 caregiver, is a wonderful addition to the household. He takes his job seriously, has a very good heart, is dedicated to getting Bill better, and is even a pretty decent cook! Rocki is from Fiji, and they are a very honest and caring people, and so I feel very confident leaving him at home with Bill when I can't be there. Plus we have wonderful Chela 4 days a week, so that helps as well. Overall, his strength is returning, he's getting more proficient at the tasks that (we hope) will make him more independent, and he still takes a keen interest in the world around him and already is planning dinner parties. Atta boy!

I took a few days and went back to NYC for the wedding of one of my best friends from law school, Victor Chiu. He married a glorious person, and he deserves her, so I couldn't be happier for them both. They wrote their own vows and they were romantic, heartfelt, and charming. The food and drink were excellent, and they had a band that was, I kid you not, able to do a good job with both Sinatra and Justin Timberlake. Chameleonlike, truly.

My friend Jeannette kidnapped me for part of the day Saturday and we went up to Travers Island, the NY Athletic Club's outpost in the Bronx. Sipping margaritas, looking out over Long Island Sound, watching women's beach volleyball on the Olympics, and great company--what's not to love? Then I had my Bonfire of the Vanities experience while she dropped me off at 125th Street so I could catch Metro North up to Westport, CT to visit more law school friends, Tom and Candace Banks. Somehow, they have managed to buy and furnish a beautiful new house, complete with pond in the backyard, with 3 children under the age of 5. Knowing them, I am duly impressed but not unduly surprised. A lovely evening! Then the next morning I got to see my cousins and goddaughter for brunch at the Blue Water Grill--yet another beautiful family, and the girls are brilliant just like their parents. The evening was consumed by my East Coast birthday party, which was casual cocktails at Vintage on 9th Ave and 51st. They have a nice little garden at the back, and it threatened rain but did not, so we were able to enjoy each other's company en plein air. 70 percent fatigue/30 percent the longest martini menu in the city made it an early night, but all seemed to enjoy themselves. Thanks for coming out!

Monday night brought the pleasure of drinks with Andrew Shore at the beautiful and historic Union Club; I wish it were summer all year long just so I could drink Pimm's Cup. Nice to have a good catch-up that was not possible at the party. Dinner with Willa Fawer at a fantastic new Italian restaurant on 58th, Mia Diona, was the perfect last night in NYC. Before blowing town the next day, I had the opportunity to meet with some board members of the Clarion Music Society and their talented wunderkind music director, Steven Fox. He and some of his musicians are being gracious enough to help out with the benefit I am organizing on October 18th for brain cancer research. They are NYC's premier early music and period instrument ensemble, so we are fortunate indeed.

Shall try to do a better job of posting in the future, but the best news is that Bill is stable and so no news is good news!

Bill Comes Home Tomorrow!

2008-08-04T14:10:00.001-07:00

Luckily, his recovery has been on track and so he will be home tomorrow, August 5th, a day early.

For at least the next month, he will have 24/7 care provided by a very nice Fijian man named Rocky who will sleep in. This will supplement our wonderful housekeeper, so Bill should be in very good hands. Rocky is (wait for it) in training these next couple days so that he can help Bill continue on with his physical therapy. Now, in some ways, the real work begins. Let's all hope Bill can get back to his old self soon. He slept horribly at the rehab center, so one element of that recovery will be getting lots of rest. The other will be to stay on a rigorous and consistent schedule of all kinds of therapy like he was getting in the rehab facility. Therefore, please continue to coordinate with me about visits to the house. I am sure that he will like phone calls, and at the moment I am guessing around 5 PM might be good so that he can get afternoon rest and then start to perk up for dinnertime.

Quick Trip to Aspen

2008-08-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

Selene Morgan, Rutledge Forney, me, Marilyn Marks, Don Morgan

How about something other than Dad's illness? A few days before his stroke and my trip to Texas for the trial, my wonderful friend, Selene Morgan, called me and asked if I could move everything on my schedule and fly out to Aspen to visit with "The Tibet Gang." Luckily, I had a couple days free and the flights were surprisingly cheap, so I did! It was a wonderful few days, and Aspen is just a magical place. We went hiking and got caught in the rain. (BTW, no, I do NOT like pina coladas.) The Aspen ideas festival was going on, so I was able to sneak into a very interesting lunchtime panel about how to deal with nuclear proliferation. Unbeknownst to me, the U.S. and Russia have been taking massive and substantial steps towards disarmament, and we are still by far the largest possessors of nukes in the world. The experts said that their main concern was not a rogue state like Iran actually using the weapon if they got it, nor was it that they would "give the bomb" to another bad actor, because in both cases the response from the U.S. would be the same: swift and devastating. Rather, they feel, the danger lies in the fact that just having more nukes out there increases the danger that some non-state actor (i.e., a terrorist group) would be more easily able to steal it and use it for its own purposes. They also sketched out an interesting little history of the numerous times that nuclear war almost happened and didn't, but easily could have due to a harmless missile launch being misconstrued as a strike, etc. We've been very lucky. The trip was all too brief, but it produced some nice memories, a calm before the storm, and the following excellent quote:

Don Morgan: Gee, Charlie, you look pretty tired.
Charlie: Yeah, I was up until 4 finishing a book Selene gave me.
Don: Ah, literary hangover.

Another Week Begins

2008-07-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

Dad continues to improve. He is walking more every day and is basically able to get in and out of chairs and beds on his own, which is a huge step towards independence. And how lucky that there aren't really stairs at our house! I spoke with the physical therapist, and it's not possible for them to simulate rows of grapes and plowed earth for Dad to walk on to equip him for normal life, but he said he would do his best!

His attitude continues to be great. In addition to everything else, Dad must now start getting acclimated to a machine that will help with his sleep apnea problem. Having been diagnosed with sleep apnea two years ago, getting the breathing machine, and pronounced it "smarmy" with some disdain (can't say as I blame him), now he HAS to use it. Once he gets accustomed, he should feel a lot more rested and have more energy for physical therapy. So if he seems kind of tired when you call/visit, that's part of the reason why. But, as he said with a firm voice and vigorous thrust of his left (!) fist, "I'm gonna beat that machine." Bravo, Bill! The nursing staff couldn't be more awesome. Smart, funny, attentive, caring. We're very fortunate.

As for me, I'm getting used to dealing with all the ins and outs of running Montedulce. In fact, this morning was rather nostalgic; our groundskeeper, Carlos, informed me that the pump had ceased working and we had no water (which happened all the time when I was a child, usually before a dinner party). Luckily, the problem was susceptible to an easy solution. I've also had to take some charge of my father's divorce proceedings, which is one of the more unusual aspects of my new job/life.

Thanks to all of you for your interest about the end result of the lawsuit in Texas. The short answer is that we won't likely have a decision for about a month. Post-trial briefs are due next Thursday, and then the replies to said briefs are due a week after that. So, please continue to keep the good thoughts!

Can't Keep Bill Down!

2008-07-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

The last two days with Dad have been almost miraculous. I spent the morning with him, first at speech therapy and then at physcial therapy.

Speech therapy: he did a fantastic job with the following exercises: 1) taking random letters and rearranging them into real words; 2) adding up varied amounts of change (e.g., 4 pennies, 5 dimes, and 3 half-dollars) and telling us the total (this works on recall and higher-level cognition); and 3) doing some reading comprehension. In the latter case, he read an article about some Indian gaming and proposed changes enlarging the casino by threefold, which he had one or two opinions about, as you might guess!

Physical therapy came next, and he more or less dressed himself! He had the aid of one of those metal-and-plastic "grabbers" with the little pincer on one end. THEN he used both legs (right more than left, but still) to maneuver his wheelchair out into the hall, and then he got himself up into a walker and walked all the way down the hallway! I couldn't be more pleased with or excited about his progress, and the wonderful Dr. Neel shares my optimistic enthusiasm. Looks like Bill is on track for an August 6th discharge and return home.

Thanks again for all the good wishes, and there's no need to bring anything if you visit the hospital (please remember to check with me first), but if you do fresh fruit seems to be high on the list. Also, feel free to send any mail to the house in Kenwood as I will bring it to him daily. Onward and upward!

Update on Dad, Update on Texas Arbitration

2008-07-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

Dad continues to improve by the day and is doing very well. When last I saw him, he could barely move his left arm and his small-hand motor skills coordination were limited. Now he seems to have close to full mobility and his motor skills are much improved. And this is only week one! His left leg continues to be the biggest weak spot and will require a lot of work for walking, transferring (getting in and out of chairs and beds), and so forth. He was so active that this is all frustrating for him, I know, but his overall attitude is good.

He is having VERY intensive therapy three times a day: physical therapy (learning how to walk again), occupation therapy (shaving, dressing, etc.), and speech therapy (in his case, actual speech is fine and so the focus will be more on memory, which has been affected by the stroke--short-term memory in particular). The main focus now is getting him well, and he tires easily and the right answer is for him to focus his energy on therapy and not on being a good host in his rehab room. Therefore, I would like to respectfully request ALL readers of the blog to check with me before making a visit. They need to be scheduled rather than drop-in. Having "too many" friends/well-wishers is a good problem to have, but let's be sure not to tire him out.

I am in California for 32 hours on a brief reprieve from the country song my life has become, entitled "I'm Gittin' Sued in Texas." I'm so relieved Dad is looking so well and feel that we have a good treatment plan in place. The bad news about the arbitration is that I spent last week listening to what a lyin', cheatin' sonuvabitch I am. The good news is, we think it went well for our side. The plaintiffs looked at best inept and at worst dishonest (both true), and we have lots of great evidence for our position that they got me into a bad real estate deal and refused honor their obligations to a) run the property well and b) pay me rent on my aparment complex. However, one never knows in these situation, so please (when you're not sending thoughts and prayers for Dad's recovery, which is by FAR the primary focus) send good thoughts and wishes that the judge will understand what really happened and decide in my favor.

Thanks again to all for your love and support!

Update on Bill's Condition--We May Have Dodged a Bullet

2008-07-15T06:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know whether it's modern medicine, the incredible prayers and support from friends, the strong iron will of William M. Schlangen, or luck (likely all of the above). But, the news from his doctors and his own improvement yesterday were very encouraging.

Sunday night, even early Monday morning, he couldn't lift his left leg. Later that morning, he could and (albeit entirely dependent on help) was able to stand up and pivot over into a chair. His speech is very good to excellent, and his strength and mobility in his left arm are returning rapidly. We are blessed to have wonderful doctors, attentive nurses, and a Memorial Office of Development staff that spoil us. The neurologist believes it was an ischemic (interruption in blood flow to the brain, likely due to a blood clot), rather than hemorrhagic (the bleeding on the brain kind), stroke, which is the kind you "want" to have. He's being treated with blood thinners (for obvious reasons) and possible medicine to prevent arterial plaque (the other major source of a blockage) from becoming dislodged. The neurologist feels that, with lots of work, a return to where he was before the stroke is possible. Hooray!

So what's next? His doctor in charge of physiology/physical recovery wanted him released to acute rehabilitation yesterday, that is, at least 5 days earlier than anticipated. This is a good thing. However, Dad spent one more night at Memorial Hospital and this morning (Tuesday the 15th) is headed over to the Fulton Road campus of Memorial Hospital for what is probably a longish slog through rehab. Basically, the brain cells that died during the stroke will be taught how to perform their functions (esp. walking) again.

My thanks go out to all our wonderful friends who are looking out for him while I am away in Texas (shall update you about that as well). If you have specific questions, I will try to respond via e-mail.

Dad Had a Stroke Yesterday

2008-07-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

I got a call from our housekeeper yesterday morning that Dad had fallen and couldn't get up. It sounded from the symptoms he was exhibiting that he had had a stroke, and indeed that was the case. The good news is that we got him to the hospital in under three hours and he is now resting reasonably comfortably at Memorial Hospital in Santa Rosa in the East Wing. However, he has slightly slurred speech, limited mobility in his left arm, and his left leg is currently paralyzed. As many of you know, it is often the case that these symptoms can reverse themselves relatively rapidly, and he does seem improved over yesterday, so please fashion your thoughts/prayers accordingly. The good news is that he is cogent and "there" mentally and in pretty good spirits, albeit very tired.

As many of you know, I was scheduled to head down to Texas yesterday to start my arbitration that has been looming for almost two years on Monday. At Dad's urging, and assuming the doctors don't see any reason that his currently stable condition will change, my current plan is to go there tomorrow, start the arbitration Wednesday, get the damn thing overwith and focus on getting Dad better.

I will do my best to post regular updates, and I may very likely be slow to respond to e-mails or phone calls for the next couple weeks. Thanks in advance for your forbearance, but if it's really urgent feel free to bug me and I will get back to you. And please wish us both luck!

June, July, August SCHEDULE

2008-06-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

June 29-July 2 ASPEN
July 3-July 12 SAN FRANCISCO
July 13-July 22 DALLAS
July 23-29 NEW YORK
July 29-August 6 SAN FRANCISCO
August 6-August 12 NEW YORK
August 12- TBD

Tips on Pumping Gas

2008-06-23T11:24:00.001-07:00

This is something all of us could use these days!

#1 Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline, when it gets warmer gasoline expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening....your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role. A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.

#2 When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. You should be pumping on low mode, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor . Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less value for your money.

#3 To fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL. The reason for this is the more gas you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount.

#4 If there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO NOT fill up; most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom.

Snappy Sartorial Prose

2008-06-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Gear: Arbitrage Shirtjacket

While they also craft high-end cotton twill and woven French-cuffed shirts, NY-based 'Trage's game-changer's a seersucker buttondown weighing somewhere between a dress shirt and a light jacket. Equipped with eye-catching staggered buttons, slanted pockets, and a hood, it's perfect for maintaning your rep as the hardest mofo at the yacht club -- until Wind's Matthew Modine rolls up with that damn Whomper.
Shacket yourself at SaksFifithAvenue.com

And Another Great Winston Churchill Story, Courtesy of Lesley Hill

2008-06-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

Surely you know the other good Winston Churchill story (true or false?) which has to do with him sitting next to a grand Englishwoman. WC has had too much to drink and flirting, asks her if she would sleep with him for a million pounds. She agrees. He then asks her if she would sleep with him for a pound. "What do you think I am?" she asks. He replies that he already knows what she is; he's just trying to determine the price.

A Great Winston Churchill Story

2008-05-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

Winston Churchill once attended a party with the Methodist bishop of Melbourne, the foremost
prohibitionist of his day. A waitress offered Churchill a drink, which he gratefully accepted. Not
knowing who he was, she then offered one to the bishop. "I would sooner commit adultery than touch a drink," the bishop responded. Churchill quickly put his drink back on the tray and said to the waitress, "I didn't know there was a choice."

May/June Schedule

2008-05-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

May 9-May 18 SAN FRANCISCO
May 19-May 23 NEW YORK
May 24-June 1 SAN FRANCISCO
June 2-June 5 NEW YORK
June 6-June 8 CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA
June 9-June 16 NEW YORK
June 17 onwards SAN FRANCISCO

Quote Log, Part IV

2008-05-11T00:48:00.000-07:00

“We pay a thousand hours of distress for that crowded moment of our pleasure.”
--re: love. Jon Leaf, from his play The Germans in Paris

“My first rule of getting laid is: you have to show up.”
--Matt “The Mayor” Panning

“Evil is only good trying to find itself in dark places.”
--Ginny Leer

"You may well say that, but I couldn't possibly comment."
--Jason Julier

"I can't imagine not being able to itemize my taxes. Actually, I CAN remember. I cried."
--Hilary Conway

"They're not fraternal twins, they're fertility twins. You know, two eggs at the same time. They were wombmates."
--Leslie Black

"He would listen to Wagner a couple of decibels too loud...in his own house. It's like, dude, who are you trying to impress? Your wife? Who's skulking in her sewing circle in the bedroom because her spirit's been broken?”
--Chris LaChance

Charlie: "I am narcoleptically 'sleeping' sitting up in the sorely misnamed 'Red Carpet Club.'"
Alexa Hampton: “'Red Carpet'” because a passenger, infuriated by the squalor and bad service, stuck a plastic fork in his head and exsanguinated on the spot.”

"I hope you have Lucia di Lammermoor on your New York agenda. If only the women I dated expressed their madness with such eloquence and charm."
--Jonathan Funke

Jacques Lehot: “I think Chelsea Clinton looks a lot better now.”
Chris La Chance: “You cannot polish a turd, sir.”

SF Restaurant Reviews

2008-04-19T16:37:00.000-07:00

As San Franciscans in the know, well, know, two rather chic new restaurants started by the Kuleto’s group have opened up along the Embarcadero. IMHO, they are to be avoided at all costs.

Epic Roasthouse, which I have (rather brilliantly) nicknamed Tragic Roasthouse was a sincere disappointment. If I wanted to pay that much for a three-hour meal, I would go to Michael Mina and have my foodie socks knocked off, thank you very much. And, just so we’re clear, the three hours was not due to leisurely dining a la Barcelona or Firenze. No no, this was a neglectful three hours. I won’t give you chapter and verse, but some lowlights include: a 25-minute wait for our table, being seated for 15 minutes before our menus appeared, having to remind the waiter and the busboy to bring us water the first time and every other time afterwards, at least 20 minutes between when our appetizers were cleared (which was 10 minutes after they should have been, which prompted a gentle query of the waiter where our food was and some lame “explanation” about how my date’s lamb chop was really thick and needed extra time to cook), very nice but not outstanding meat quality, and runny Hollandaise on our asparagus. To be fair the ambiance was cool and they did a very nice job on the birthday chocolate soufflé. But the cherry on my sundae of rage is twofold: 1) when I told the hostess on the way out, after she inquired, about the problems described above, rather than apologize she kindly instructed me that their meat takes a long time to cook, and 2) when I wrote a very even, un-hostile letter informing of their shortcomings and successes, I received no response. Too bad you don’t care about word of mouth, Tragic Roasthouse.

The next day, Barrett and I were sitting at Hi-Dive enjoying a burger and watching the UCLA game. The above had happened the night before, and so we speculated whether Waterbar (Tragic Roasthouse’s sister restaurant next door) were any better. So at halftime, knowing that there was a TV in the bar at Tragic Roasthouse, I called Waterbar to ask whether there were one there. The line was pregnant with aggrieved silence, and then the hostess (who I can only assume was running on low blood sugar) snapped haughtily, “We are a fine dining restaurant.” “I know,” I replied pleasantly. “My friend and I were enjoying the UCLA game and thought we would, as neighbors of yours, watch the second half there but didn’t want to make the trip without knowing if there was a television.” “We don’t have one in our bar. If you want dinner, I suppose I could help you with the restaurant” was her riposte. I will confess that, while my reply didn’t contain any expletives, it was not my finest moment. OK, a few comments

1) You are a hostess at a restaurant, missy. I have bussed tables, had food thrown at me, cleaned bathrooms, and done most every other kind of restaurant job (including being a host). Not a venue in which one should put on airs.

2) Even if you were going to put on airs, this is not the 80s (we’re—supposedly—in a recession), and you are not Dorsia (you are a new restaurant in a town with restaurants popping up like mushrooms after a rainstorm). You might want to try cultivating new relationships, especially with 30-somethings with disposable income who enjoy food and live four blocks from you.

3) Um, doesn’t your sister restaurant have a TV in its upstairs bar? If you think that’s so déclassé, you might want to talk to Mr. Kuleto.

So, friends, perhaps I can save you some aggravation and money. Stick to Town Hall!

Proud to be an American

2008-04-19T16:35:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, my family has been fortunate to have the most wonderful woman in our lives for three decades. Graciela Ayala has been taking loving care of me, my grandparents, my Mother (whom she regarded as a sister), and now my Father for as long as I can remember with grace, style, and fullness of heart. Today, Tuesday, April 15, 2008, she was sworn in as a citizen of the United States of America. I could not be more proud. She is 70 years old and would not have had to do this, but she felt that it was time she did it to, in her words, thank the country that has done so much for her. She is honest, hard-working, and dedicated—the kind of immigrant who, when the conversation turns to overarching policy debates, makes you rethink your position. Moreover, she and her husband have reared three wonderful children who are bright, hardworking contributors to society. Her son Isaac, for example, got a full engineering scholarship to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo and now consults all over the world (Japan, Germany, etc.) for a major international engineering firm. It is an honor and a privilege to know her and love her. When I told her that my Father and I wanted to give her something special to mark her citizenship and asked her what she would like, she replied, “An American flag, so that I can wrap myself in it, and kiss it, and be reminded of how much this country has done for me and my family.” I honestly got choked up. God bless America!

As a lesser point of interest, she studied her brains out for weeks for the citizenship test, and at the end of the day they only asked her five questions, most of which follow:

1) Who lives in the White House?

2) Who takes over if the President is incapacitated?

3) How many stars are there on the American flag, and what do they represent?

4) How many stripes are there on the American flag, and what do they represent?

American Airlines is SOOOO Ghetto

2008-04-09T09:39:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to call American Airlines for the last 45 minutes. The first time, I started going through the menu but, as my flight is a complicated one--gotta have a nice little stopover in Dallas to sit in on a hearing on cross-Motions for Partial Summary Judgment. Remind me again how it is that my tenants stopped paying me rent for 3 months, I evicted them as per the terms of the lease that THEY drafted, and they turned around and sued ME? And this has been going on for a year?

I digress, as usual. So I finally gave up and started saying "Agent" into the phone. The nice lady, a shade patronizingly, said, "I think you want to speak to an agent. Let's return to the menu so I can direct your call where it needs to go." Then they disconnected me. Each time I call back, they tell me all their agents are busy and to call again later. Wasn't the point of shipping all customer service overseas to frackin' (so glad Battelstar Galactica has started up again!) Bangalore was to save money and always have people to answer our calls? If the government is going to keep hurling money at the airlines for bailouts, couldn't they at least deploy it with some style, like the Concorde did (before it went belly up)?

Harrassed Travelers in Need of Laugh?

2008-03-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

The attached link is kind of crude, but if you've about had it with the TSA then this video is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7AWw7t5zj0

For those of you who fly often and have not discovered the fabulous world of FlyClear, click on this link immediately. It's $100 annually, but if you fly a lot it's completely worth it. They do a quick background check on you and then you can either get fingerprint scanned or retinally scanned from hereon in at the airport, and the nice FlyClear employees help you take your carry-on stuff, put it into bins, and drop you right at the front of the line. I tell you, it's magic. And they're rasslin' with the TSA right now to see if their members can refrain from de-shoeing, de-laptopping, etc. I mean, come ON, people! My money clip and I are going to subdue the frightened passengers, and I will throw my shoes at the unruly ones, and then plug my laptop into the malfunctioning earphone jacks and infest the plane with a virus that will make it land in Pittsburgh. Please.

Fighting the Winter Doldrums with a visit to NYC

2008-02-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

Late January saw a return to Manhattan for a whirlwind visit. The 16^th saw a long-overdue reunion with Christiana Killian when we attended a luncheon at the University Club and heard a farewell address from Philippe de Montebello, the Director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He’s a very gracious and accomplished man. He’s diplomatic to the point of rendering his remarks a little dull, but then he didn’t get where he is by saying things like “I hate Vermeer.” What he has done with the Met is incredible and it is, in his estimation, an institution that maybe has 2 or 3 peers in the entire world in terms of combined breadth and depth of its collection.

The next evening saw a torrential rainstorm, a very enjoyable dinner with my BFF Alexandra Murray and the charming Mary Claire Delaney, and then an evening of much-needed laughter at Spamalot. (Apparently Clay Aiken is going to join the cast soon—as Sir Robin, perhaps?—but we were not treated to his performance.) As Mary Claire observed, there’s something great about hearing a Broadway actress really belt out a tune. I was also surprised by how (I believe) short the actors all were. At the end of the play, the Holy Grail is found under seat A101, and the fellow who was seated there towered over everyone when he went up on stage to claim his prize. I wonder what it is that attracts shorter people to theater?

Friday was the annual Robert Burns Night dinner at the University Club, so the fabulous Sarah Burley and I put together a table that included Sarah’s charming sister, Alice, and my dear friends Eugenie Harrsion née Roussel, Erika and Mike Halford (who have just bought a new apartment, happily still in my neighborhood!), and many others. I never like to pass up an opportunity to wear my kilt, and it was fun to see so many others sporting the traditional apparel of Scotland. The meal, haggis included, was excellent, and there was even a well-intentioned but problematically executed attempt at cadeleigh dancing. And much Scotch was consumed, both at the Club and then at Bill’s Gay Nineties afterwards. In the “God loves fools and drunkards” category, I left my Bonnie Prince Charlie tuxedo jacket at our last port of call, and Mike Halford was good enough to drop it off with my doorman.

Amazingly, I was able to peel myself off my sofa (where I had passed out, still in my kilt) and share a nice meal with my cousins, Brian and Lanchi Klingborg, and then the afternoon was spent at the Winter Antiques Fair, where, as usual, the most appealing items were in the Hill-Stone booth (more on that below). That evening was dinner at Compass—in my opinion, one of the only viable (and pre-Lincoln Center) dining options on the West Side. (Jean-Georges doesn’t count, because that’s in a class by itself.) Emily Webb was my dinner companion, and then we headed to the Philharmonic to hear Leif Ove Andsnes play Brahms’ Second Piano Concerto, and it was astounding. The music flowed from his fingers like a ripple of liquid silver, and he played so well with the orchestra, too—just an outstanding performer. The rest of the concert—a piece by Scriabin and a Liszt symphonic poem (which the program notes described as sensual and yearning, and I found it neither) was a little disappointing. But Emily and I repaired to P.J. Clarke’s afterwards and had an enjoyable chat to end the evening.

Sunday was a visit to St. Thomas’ (with an adequate sermon and beautiful music) and then birthday brunch with Jeannette Anderson at the University Club (where some old dude proceeded to have a long cell phone conversation, and no one did anything). But we had a very nice chat about what we hope 2008 has in store; I still think I need to live my life in a more thoughtful manner rather than just reacting to the enormous array of stimuli that are present in my daily existence. Then I met up with Jonathans Funke and Leaf at the Morgan Library for the Irving Penn photography exhibit. Honestly, portrait photographs don’t really steep my tea. I like some of Richard Avedon’s work, but other than that I don’t find them anywhere near as deep and revelatory as some people seem to. But a fantastic exchange happened. We were standing in front of the photo of Norman Mailer and I confessed that I had never read any of his work, and Leaf admitted rather sheepishly that he had read almost all of it but did not think much of it, and when I asked him what he didn’t like he proceeded to discuss Mailer’s work in a perfectly conversational tone. After about 90 seconds of this, a really dweeby, uptight man whipped around and whined, “You know, there are some people who really admire Mailer’s work and do not need to have you standing in a public place and giving a lecture nobody wants to hear. OK? Can you just not do that anymore?” The three of us looked at each other in shocked bemusement, both because Leaf had not been foisting his (as usual, erudite) views on others, and second because this fellow seemed like the last person on Earth who would be a Mailer fan. I said (sorta) under my breath, “Wasn’t it Voltaire who said, ‘I disagree with everything you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it?’” Leaf rejoined, quick as lightning, “He also said, ‘To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth.’” Without missing a beat, Funke looked at me and said, “You get one Voltaire point for content, and Leaf gets one for placement.” I love my friends.

I returned to the Armory and purchased a marvelous Old Master drawing by Oppenord: Charon Ferrying Souls across the River Styx. The outer edges or frame (not the wooden housing) of the drawing is the gaping maw of Hell, opening up to receive the boat of souls, while others wait their turn crowded in a Classical temple. If you have any interest in collecting drawings, visit the learned and reputable Alan Stone and Lesley Hill from whom I bought this and several other works. They are trustworthy, they have a wide range of offerings, an eye for the unusual and interesting, and they’re delightful to boot. I left the world of 17^th-Century art and headed downtown to watch the playoff game. I tell you, if you want a good time, watch the NY Giants win in overtime at an Irish sports bar. Impossible not to get swept up in the excitement. It was a fun jaunt and I was a little sorry to leave for California the next morning.

“The first rule of Pipe Club is: Do not talk about Pipe Club.”

2008-02-21T08:58:00.000-08:00

It was an evening of many bons mots. (This happened in fall, and I am just now getting around to blogging about it.) Messrs. Barrett Fallentine, Jacques Lehot, and Brian Pitre came to Gotham for a long weekend visit. It was Brian’s unofficial bachelor party, and so I made a reservation at the redoubtable Keens Steakhouse. (Thank you Laura Winters for that suggestion!) We were joined by Jonathan Funke and Patrick Butler (see the picture below). It was a mini-Spain reunion for some, and the creation of new friendships for others, and as we walked into the restaurant to our table on a raised dais and admired the clay pipes of Enrico Caruso, the good Roosevelt, and others, it was evident we were going to have a smashing time. For those of you who have not been to Keen’s, the ceiling has thousands of clay pipes of its erstwhile patrons affixed to it. Hence Mr. Funke’s excellent quip above to get the evening going.

Back Row: Barrett, Charlie

Front Row: Patrick, Jonathan, Brian, Jacques

Patrick Butler then arrived a tad late and explained that he had just been instructing a young cub in his office about his weekend work. When we asked him how that went, he lamented his young charge’s bright-eyed and bushy-tailedness, and expressed his wish to say to the chap, “We need to rewire your philosophy and make a Stoic out of you by Monday. Stop looking forward to things.” And the witty comments flowed fast and thick all evening—the perfect complements to our delicious steak and many martinis. Our next stop was the Hudson Library Bar, which was a huge hit. We got a great seating cluster by the fireplace and Patrick held court with his incredible experiences in the military during the Gulf War. Things do get a little hazy, but I distinctly recall his incredulous observation about how technology had made killing people much like the video games some of us grew up playing. When the clock struck 2 AM we were about to call it a night, when we got a collective second wind and moved the party to another part of the Hudson Hotel and kept going strong until 4 AM. We may have had a cocktail or twelve—good times.

The rest of the weekend included introducing Jacques and Brian to Pastis, wandering around SoHo, discussing Brian’s fiber regimen, visiting Justin Timberlake’s new bar, Southern Hospitality, which is sort of a cracker version of Dorrian’s. (Sidebar: When I made that comment at a large gathering, someone asked how one defined a cracker, and the winning explanation, in my opinion, was: “Outdoor furniture inside and indoor furniture outside.”) As one might guess, the song “Sexy Back” is played often at that venue—but you gotta admit, it’s catchy. The weekend was capped off with a nice long ramble in Central Park and then Barrett and I bid our friends farewell and enjoyed some excellent BBQ and watched a couple football games.

Tech Rant

2008-01-10T04:55:00.000-08:00

OK, so I decided that 2008 was the year to stop grousing about my sub-par technology (slow, and slow-witted, and--I presume--virus-clogged cell phones and computers). In an attempt to rectify this, I set about things in a methodical way. After researching Verizon vs. AT&T and convincing myself there wasn't much of a difference between the two providers service-wise, I proceeded to contact AT&T (with whom I had gone out of contract many moons ago, apparently) and ask if the new(ish) Treo 750, which I could buy for $99 after rebates etc., was compatible with the Palm technology that has been running my contacts, calendar, tasks, and, yes, even the quote log, for years. I spoke to some joker named Malcolm, I think, who assured me, in answer to my explicit question about same, that the 750 would indeed be compatible with Palm technology. On the strength of that, I went ahead and ordered the new phone.

Then I decided to buy a new computer. The Dell guy couldn't have been nicer, and one of the many decisions I had to make was whether or not to have Microsoft Outlook pre-installed on my computer. Given that I was comfortable with Palm, and all my data were on that platform, I saw no reason not to save myself the money and declined. Made sense, right?

To AT&T's credit, the phone did arrive very quickly (yesterday, and I had ordered it Saturday). I spent the better part of yesterday trying to get it set up. While I could send and receive calls and text messages, I couldn't access the internet. I had to call AT&T customer support to get their assistance with this basic function. It involved taking the battery out of my phone (huh?) not once but twice while Olga, bless her heart, "set switches" or somesuch. After that 22-minute task was completed, we moved on to trying to get my phone to "push" my Gmail e-mail directly to my phone rather than my having to "pull" it from the internet. (Let me note here that this was another explicit question I asked Malcolm, and he informed me it would be no problem.) We still have not solved this issue, but I decided to give up the ghost on it for now.

We next turned to the issue that I was not able to sync my phone to my laptop, which has all the aforementioned data on it. That, I was informed, is a Palm issue and so I had to call them. After being on hold for almost 11 minutes, I was disconnected. I called again and got Max, who informed me (after some back and forth) that the new phone I had was NOT compatible with the Palm technology. Huh? It says "Palm" right on the front of the phone. I swear to God. In any case, it is a Windows phone, and so my only option is to purchase the Outlook software (remember, the software I told Dell not to put on my computer because I didn't need it?) and then go to a website entitled, I kid you not, www.chapura.com (huh? again), and download some other software that will convert my Palm data into an Outlook-compatible format. Clearly, we can all surmise how easy and trouble-free that experience will be. OR...I can send back my new phone (lucky me! they will pay for the shipping) and get the Treo 680, which has fewer capabilities and pay an extra $200. For an older phone with fewer features. Wait, can that possibly be right?

Let me venture a thought here. I am the first to admit that I am not the most technologically adept person on the planet. But I am adequately so, and of above-average intelligence. How is it that it took me something like 2.5 hours to set up a new phone for use? What about all the other poor saps who are even less adept than I? How are they supposed to wade through all this muck and mire? Shouldn't the phone companies and OEMs make this whole process a lot more seamless and user-friendly? May I also point out that, in my lawyering days, the time I spent with the various above vendors would have cost them about $600 minimum. (Granted, the firm got that money, not I, but the logic still applies.) Don't they owe me some kind of rebate for my time?

I swear, as good as my life is in so many areas, technology just ain't one of them. It's like when I was recruiting people for the computer systems department of D.E. Shaw (my first job out of college) and my computer would literally break down every 3 weeks or so. Given that we received all our resumes for said systems professionals via e-mail, my computer was literally biting the hand that fed it.

Quote Log, Part III

2008-01-05T16:24:00.000-08:00

"No better way to ingratiate yourself with a new law firm than to refer to their intranet site and policies as 'HAL.'"
--Javier Martinez

"You couldn't be rude if you played an Emily Post record backward while sitting in a pentagram chanting and wearing white after Labor Day."
--Charlie

"I thoroughly enjoyed our martini-soaked Mozart massacre. Hopefully Austria wasn't too disturbed by the subterranean rolling."
--Jessica Gould re: our rendition of "La ci darem la mano" at my 2007 Christmas party

Charlie: "My friend Andrew claims he's a Russian prince, but sometimes it's a little hard to believe everything he has to say."
Paul Christenson: "What gave it away? When he started talking about his Aunt Anastasia?"

"I realized five months into dating the Socialist that it had to stop. Luckily he then moved to a former Soviet State."
--Hilary Conway

"The plural of anecdote is trend."
--Neiswanger as told to Jonathan Funke

“Dude, it's gonna get f----d up. And it's gonna get f-----d up in a foreign language.”
--Barrett Fallentine re: my father's well-intentioned but semi-ill-fated trip to Mexico with his wife and her children's various families to Mexico for Christmas of 2006.

"It's not just about finding what lights your fire--you need to figure out how to pay for the firewood."
--Selene Morgan

"The people who would consider oak a fundamental taste of wine are the same people who consider ketchup a vegetable."

--Randall Graham

"Upgrade until it's right."
--Alexis Vourvoulis

An Evening of Wonderful Music on January 10 in New York--Get Your Tickets!

2008-01-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

My friend with the astounding soprano voice, Jessica Gould, will be singing with the always-sublime Four Nations Ensemble headed by the charming and talented Andy Appel. Please find below the information on tickets, time, and venue. Please go! You will love it.

------------------

The Four Nations Ensemble with guest artist soprano Jessica Gould

Instrumental Offerings: Music as Diplomacy in 18th Century Europe
Thursday, January 10 7:30PM
The Mannes College Concert Hall
150 West 85th Street
$25/17 seniors & students
(212)501-3011
programs@bgc.bard.edu

While porcelain, paintings, and precious gems were valued as gifts among royal courts, music was an equally significant offering as well as an accompaniment to gift-giving rituals. Serenades, sonatas, cantatas, and recreational music were often presented as forms of affection, respect, and homage.

Presented in conjuction with the Bard Graduate Center exhibit, "Fragile Diplomacy: Meissen Porcelain for European Courts," this concert will feature cantatas by Heinichen and Hasse, Johann Sebastian Bach's trio sonata from the Musical Offering (composed for Frederick the Great of Prussia) and selections from the Anna Magdalena Notebook (a gift from JS Bach to his wife). The Heinichen cantata will be a modern-day premiere, reconstructed by Ms. Gould from the manuscript in the collection of the Sachsische Landesbibliothek Dresden.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T23:56:00.000-08:00

We have all finally made it through the holiday season, and there were many things about which to be thankful. As usual, there was lots of merriment and revelry, too much delicious food, too many cocktails, and, most important, the wonderful glow that comes from sharing special, loving times with the warm and generous people I am lucky enough to have in my life. Thanks to all of you who opened up your homes and hearts to Dad and me this Christmas.

Incidentally, thanks to all of you who were so kind to check in about Dad. His pacemaker operation went very well the second time and he is in high spirits with more energy than he's had in a long time. Your prayers helped!

So, onward and upward! Most people I know are not too sorry to see the back of 2007, and they also are very optimistic about 2008. Let's hope we're right!

Resolutions:

1) Reacquaint myself with this locale called the gym.
2) The usual alcohol detox for the month of January (with three exceptions).
3) Read more fiction.
4) Live more in the moment.
5) Work on a catchphrase, such as "There it is" (the Emperor in Amadeus) or "That's all" (from The Devil Wears Prada).
6) Date Anne Hathaway.

Anyone else care to share theirs?

Say a Little Prayer

2007-12-13T14:45:00.000-08:00

My Dad, Bill, went in for routine (but hastily scheduled) pacemaker surgery yesterday. It all went well overall, but it turns out that one of the wires connected to his new bionic part has become disconnected and so he has to go through the whole thing again tomorrow. Poor guy. There's no particular need for concern, but a little extra prayer and good wishes never hurt, so thanks for sending them his way.

Quote Log, Part Deux

2007-12-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

"I would have called, if I were awake, to tell you I was sleeping."
--Stacy Monahan re: why she neglected to have dinner with me in Paris and made me wait for half an hour in the lobby.

"I even want myself."
--Chris La Chance after spraying himself with Tag Body Spray

"She was on the pill and she got pregnant? That's inconceivable."
--Andrew Shore

"Everyone who has a cat says their cat is not like a cat, it's like a dog and it's affectionate. That's a lie. Cats are bitches."
--Bridget Best

"I hear terms like 'floozy' and 'exhibitionist'--that just doesn't do justice to my art."
--Nicole Alvino

"She's so low. I tell you, you scrape the gum off the bottom of a baseball seat and there she is."
--Jacques Lehot

"You know, the French just really know how to use a stick of butter."

2007-12-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

The above quotable quote is courtesy of my dear and talented friend Jenna Lane (and one of the few I still stay in touch with from high school). We were sharing a morning coffee on a brisk sunny day at the Ferry Building in SF and were talking about cooking, and she shared with me some of her recent experiments. I tried the recipe below out at a dinner party last week and it met with rave reviews, plus it's easy! Try it, you'll love it. Thanks, Jenna!

"Le gateau de Mamy," courtesy of Clotilde Dusoulier, author of "Chocolate & Zucchini" and the blog of the same name.

1/2 cup (1 stick) plus 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
1 pound baking apples (I used 2 large Rome apples)
3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs

You're probably not supposed to, but I made the cake beforehand and put it in the fridge, batter and all, under alumnium foil until we sat down to eat and then popped it into the already-warm oven, and it came out fine. It was a nice timing/coordination trick.

1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Melt the butter in a small saucepan.
Grease a nonstick 9-inch round cake pan (not springform) with 1
tablespoon of the butter.

2. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a small mixing bowl. Wash, peel and core the apples. Cut them in eighths and arrange over the bottom of the pan.

3. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk the sugar with the eggs until fluffy. Add the flour mixture and whisk until combined. Add the melted butter and whisk again until blended. Pour the batter evenly over the fruit and bake for 40 minutes, until the top is set and golden brown. (My oven runs hot, so it was more like 35 minutes.)

4. Let the cake settle on a cooling rack for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the pan to loosen and flip the cake onto a plate; if any piece of fruit has stuck to the bottom of the pan, scrape it off carefully and place it back on the cake where it belongs. Flip the cake again onto a serving plate. Let cool and serve slightly warm or at room temperature.

5. I added a dollop (OK, more than a dollop) of stiffly whipped, not-too-sweet whipped cream.

Support Our Troops This Holiday Season

2007-12-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else ever feel like the fact that we are at war doesn't really touch your daily life? I find myself walking down the streets of this great city in this great country and all of a sudden stopping short with the realization that we are in fact in a state of war and have been for several years. It feels wrong, somehow, not to be doing more on our part to support the troops, and I am disappointed in our government that there is not some sort of a call from them to us to "do our part." Whether or not you support the war, there are brave men and women far from home and their families--or perhaps without a home or family--who are laying their lives on the line every day in conditions that most of us cannot ever fathom.

I wish it were more, but if you want to do something here is a link to send the troops a USO care package. It costs $25, is tax-deductible, allows you to write a message of support, and will get you miles on American Airlines. I would like to encourage everyone who reads this to send at least one this holiday season as a recognition and thanks to our fellow Americans who are sacrificing so much in far-flung parts of the world so that we can live in the safety, security, and prosperity that we often take for granted.

Magic Flutes and Haggis Lasagna

2007-11-25T16:08:00.000-08:00

Disturbing how behind I am. Attended the famed Julie Taymor (The Lion King) production of The Magic Flute at the Met at the end of October. The opera, preceded by an excellent repast at the Opera Club with my buddy Patrick Butler, was quite well sung. The Queen of the Night (Anna Kristiina Kaappola, who was making her Met debut that evening) and Papageno were in particular outstanding. If you've not seen it, the production is fantastic in the far-fetched/fantasy sense of the word. But once you accept that, at least it's consistent throughout and it's kind of fun to suspend your disbelief even more. I've never heard a particularly good rendition of Tamino. He's never rendered in a particularly heroic way; he always sounds kind of milquetoasty, although it probably doesn't help that he faints as soon as he comes on stage. (And I wonder if Schikaneder had something to say about that so that his Papageno had no chance of getting upstaged.)

Saturday, November 2nd was the Scottish Ball. Great fun, and a great workout, if you've never tried it! There are three rehearsals beforehand, and you can learn the basic steps, reels, etc. If you have yet to see me in a kilt, check it out in the NYT Sunday Styles. (Thanks to my friend Erika Halford, who gave me the heads-up that I was in the paper.) It's a little hard to make me out, but my tartan is the Maclaren blue and green one and I am in the bottom far left and four over from the bottom far left. One of the best things about it is that it's all the Scotch you can drink, and yet you sweat/work it off with the dancing, thereby mitigating the intoxication. In addition to the usual Shepherd's Pie, there was a new twist on an old favorite: haggis lasagna. My purist sensibilities were a little offended, but it still tasted good. It was a lively, fun crew of fellow revelers, including the talented dancer Susan Wojewoda and Molly and Bill Ambler. A fun way to celebrate the 3 days of fall we got this year. (See the hilarious Onion article.)

FedEx/Kinko's Employees: Intransigent, Half-Witted, or Just Toying with Me?

2007-11-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

OK, so I needed to get a document notarized for my never-ending lawsuit in Texas. After a couple of fruitless searches on Yahoo Yellow Pages, I looked, in an antediluvian fashion, in the physical yellow pages. It stated that the nearly two dozen listed FedEx/Kinko's locations (including the one by me on 78th and Lex) had notaries. Just to be sure, I called them and spoke to Gwen and asked if they had a notary on the premises. "Yes we do," she replied. As it appears, I was foolish to take her at face value. I went there and expressed my interest in a notary's services with the implicit and concomitant intention of paying for same. "We ain't got a notary here. You gotta go across the street to the optometrist." Huh? On a scale of one to non sequitur, that's like a 9.8. I informed her that Gwen had assured me that there was a notary on the premises. "Well, not here. We got a notary, but he across the street." I have to admire the mixture of scorn, condescension, and exasperation with which she was able to imbue her answer.

It reminded me of that scene in one of the Pink Panther movies, when Peter Sellers asks an innkeeper, upon seeing a dog at the check-in desk, whether his dog bites. The innkeeper replies in the negative. Peter Sellers goes to check in and is promptly bitten. "I thought you said your dog does not bite," he moans, clutching his ankle. "That is not my dog," rejoins the innkeeper.

In any case, FedEx/Kinko's (at least that one) is dead to me.

And a related incident from my friend Selene:

A friend went into a long-established popular deli/bakery for a sandwich. Several female employees stood about, basically ignoring him. Finally he said, "Does any of you work here?" After a bit of a silence, one of the women pointed with her thumb to another woman and said laconically, "She do."

Funny Video and the Infamous Quote Log, Part I

2007-11-13T18:01:00.000-08:00

OK guys, take a look at this. The video itself (one of Will Ferrell's top picks, BTW) is almost as funny as Jonathan Funke's fake review of same.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d7e5ec2c55

"A revitalizing contribution to the urban vocabulary of 'patois
physicale' " -- The New Criterion

"Paddy-Cake has never been so arresting, so visceral, so NOW" -- The
Gordon School Bee

"Not gay at ALL" -- The Washington Blade

QUOTE LOG PART I

“Airline flying now is like when I was a kid and would walk by the bus station.”
--Paul Christenson

“He's so far in the closet he's practically in Narnia.”
--as told to me by Deroy Murdock

“I don't usually blame others for my own excesses.”
--Stacy Monahan

“Iceland: I feel like it's more trendy than awesome”
--Lauren Pearle

“The problem with hands-free headsets is that you never know if the person walking toward you is talking to someone on a cell phone or just crazy”
—Katherine Eldred

Charlie: “Were you a Tahoe girl growing up?”
Joan Burns: “Not so much. My Dad doesn’t like still bodies of water; he thinks they attract white trash.”

"Some of the most interesting people are the ones you didn't invite."
--Julie Lindsey

Patriotism, Philanthropy, and Poor Programming

2007-11-08T08:49:00.000-08:00

As much fun as this blogging thing is, it's easy to fall behind. Mea culpa.

Had a great evening with my friend Federico Cortese several nights ago at Agata & Valentina Ristorante on 79th and 1st--which is fantastic, by the way. He was born in Italy but has lived here for several years. His knowledge of our system of government and his well-reasoned opinions about same were challenging and intriguing. I have a few friends who are naturalized citizens, and the level of patriotism, love for our country, and engagement with its politics and policies are quite inspiring. Frankly, it even puts me to shame a little that I am not always as up on things as I ought to be. Plus you get to learn so much! Federico is a conductor up in Boston, and we had a very interesting discussion about the role of the State in sponsorship of the arts in Europe as opposed to the fact that here philanthropy plays a large role (whereas in Europe it is almost non-existent). One of the consequences of that is that, in programming a concert set or series, it is more important to take into account audience tastes and tolerance for things that are a little unusual. In other words, there is a certain extent to which market forces, if you will, affect the arts here. An obvious conclusion, perhaps, but the contrast is stark compared to Europe, where a music director could theoretically program 12 hours straight of Philip Glass and there would be no repercussions. Shudder.

A couple of weeks ago I joined the Stanford alumni team (along with my good friends Allison Amend, Danna Chung, and Lorri Elder) volunteering at New York Cares Day at a public school in Brooklyn. We spent the day reshelving books and generally organizing the library and sorting out a science closet. It was a very worthwhile experience. One thing really struck me: they honestly have enough books to have kept the Nazis busy for months. Nigh on 500 dictionaries, crates of children's fiction books still in the cellophane, etc. And this is at a relatively poor school. I'm clearly oversimplifying and don't have full possession of the facts, but it seems to me that at least some of the problem with public education in this country (which, while it may be a public good, is not a right enshrined in the Constitution) is a misallocation, rather than purely a lack, of resources.

Hard to believe it, but I had a disappointing afternoon at Carnegie Hall. The first piece on the program was Joan Tower's In Memory. OK, I swear to God I think this is what happened: she had a couple glasses of white wine and fell asleep in front of the original version of Psycho and then woke up and lifted the non-shower-scene incidental music, strung it together, and called it a composition. I am not alone in my opinion about this. Next was Joshua Bell playing Samuel Barber's Violin Concerto. As always, he played beautifully. But somehow the piece, except for part of the second movement, did not inspire me. The playing by the Orchestra of St. Luke's seemed lackluster all day. The next piece was the world premiere of a violin concerto by a 15-year-old named Jay Greenberg. Now don't get me wrong, I am 18 years past having something premiere as a mid-teen at Carnegie Hall, so Mazel Tov and respeck (to quote Ali G). That said, it was basically pretty ADHD and not amazing. My friend Jon Leaf was with me, and we found it hard to clap while most of the rest of the house gave him a standing ovation. I felt like something of a jerk. His comment? "I don't think that inferior work should be encouraged." A man of principle, and I admire him for it. All in all, a poorly done program.

I Oughta be in Pictures

2007-11-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

My dear friend, Lis Fies, is currently making a movie entitled The Commune. Partly because we're such good friends, and partly because I have a very minor producer role for having enthusiastically invested in her movie, she cast me as an extra. Sadly, she chose to typecast me and so I play a malevolent hippie. No lines, just a creepy, appraising glance at a beautiful girl who's walking by. It's a very cleverly written film, the lead actress is stunning, and I wish them all the best! Oh, and check out my listing on imdb.com (one of my favorite web sites, as it should be for any movie junkie).

The Sartorial, the Sublime, and the Socialist

2007-10-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

First, on an admittedly shallow note, I think I have found one of the best places imaginable for a shoe shine in the city. It's called Angelo's, and it's in the 53rd Street/5th Avenue E-V subway station (before the turnstiles). I swear, my shoes didn't look that good when I bought them. I don't know how he did it, but it was amazing. And $3! Run, don't walk. Also, for repairs, I recommend the place on 15 W. 55th Street. Not cheap, but they do a really phenomenal job.

So, on to the sublime! As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was fortunate enough to be one of the New York liaisons for Zélindor, roi des Sylphes, a 1745 opera-ballet by Rabel and Francoeur. Opera Lafayette was conducted by my friend Ryan Brown, and the New York Baroque Dance Company did the ballet at Lincoln Center's Rose Theater. It was a very well-chosen venue, because you could imagine (given its intimacy) that you were at the court of Louis XV. The plot was not the point of the opera, but the singing was expressive and lovely (especially the mezzo, Ah Young Hong), there were pretty melodic lines, and, as the NYT put it, "The evening's strength, however, was the crisp, resilient playing of the period orchestra." (They even managed to make the audience forget about the unfortunate member of the dance troupe whose pants fell off repeatedly. We're not talking a little; we're talking down to his knees.) Bravo, Ryan!

The sublimity continued the next morning, when the ever-delightful Jennifer Tonkovich was good enough to give me a behind-the-scenes tour of the exhibit that she curated at the Morgan Library: Painted with Words: Vincent van Gogh's Letters to Émile Bernard. It is an ideal marriage of what the Morgan is all about: art and literature. There are a marvelous number of van Gogh's magnificent paintings and drawings, and an appropriate number of Bernard's less sublime, more labored efforts. The letters reveal van Gogh as a very grounded, technically proficient artist (as do some of his earlier drawings) rather than just the madman we have come to know and love. His obsession was color and he viewed his canvases as a means to expound upon that obsession. Plus there are translations of all the letters, which could be quite...earthy (see the Post article), as well as some that are read aloud. I can't recommend it highly enough. Go see it! Brava Jennifer!

Now the Socialism. My good friend Marilyn is one of about 6,500 souls who live in Aspen, CO year-round. The City Council, which only allows full-time residents (as opposed to the many property owners who have, I would say, a pretty strong interest in laws affecting Aspen) to vote, has recently passed a new ordinance that classifies buildings that are 30 years old as potentially "historic" and therefore subject to preservation as landmarks. OK, show of hands: who thinks a 1970s A-frame faux-Swiss ski chalet is "historic?" Personally, I think people who elect to raze those pea-green, storm-weathered, rickety-porched monstrosities should get a subsidy. This, my friends, is what is called an uncompensated regulatory taking that is tarted up and masquerading as a historic preservation law. Having this kind of cloud (some might even say pall) cast over your property demonstrably and significantly reduces its marketability, alienability, and desirability. And this happens all the time, everywhere, in every town in America. I mean, it's one thing if your neighbor wants to turn his house into a strip joint, and it's quite another if he wants to improve the property and thereby collaterally increase the value of your house. Plus, the mayor of Aspen seems to be a little unbalanced. I saw a video of him in action: he had the throbbing neck veins and the crazy eyes. Unfortunately, according to my friend and former professor, Richard Epstein from U of Chicago Law, these ordinances are rarely challenged successfully, and usually because of some technical procedural elements that the municipality fails to observe.
I will confess I have a rather unusual fantasy. I would love to paint the houses of anyone who passes a law like this purple and then watch as they come home in sputtering indignation and apoplexy.
Meddling Legislator: "But, but you can't do that!"
Charlie: "Well," I would coolly reply, "it's for the good of the city. Don't you love how it makes your house stand out from all the rest and adds character to the neighborhood? I have a vision: let's turn the City of XXXX into a 'Miami of the North' starting with your house. Isn't that great? Good, you're on board."
ML: "But, but...it's my property! You have no right to do this. I didn't even get to have a proper say in it."
C: "Ah HA! Say that again, what you just said. Now see if there are any analogous situations in which you have played a role recently and maybe rethink that."

Low Country, High Culture

2007-10-16T12:19:00.001-07:00

It's been an exciting, busy few days. Last Wednesday was one of those fantastic New York evenings. It started with a quick spin through the "Drawing Connections" exhibition at the Morgan Library. An interesting and ultimately successful concept, and I clearly need to brush up (read: learn anything at all) about Mannerism. Luckily, I was just given a new book about that subject, so I can delve right in!

After uncustomarily eschewing a cocktail I headed over to Lincoln Center to hear an all-Tchaikovsky program. My new friend, Johannes Moser, the cello soloist that evening, was good enough to comp me a ticket. The concert started with a selection from Swan Lake, and the first piece was the Intro to Act II, which is in my opinion some of the most heart-rendingly beautiful music ever written. The strings were luscious, the harpist flawless, and the brass did an excellent job. I liked Maazel's conducting even better than I do Seiji Ozawa's on the recording I have. Johannes played the Rococo Variations splendidly. He embraced the Mozartean aspects of the piece (that wonderful, playful ask-and-answer achieved by one instrument in this case), and then transitioned flawlessly into the extremely Romantic sections without letting them get sappy. Fabulous playing, and he couldn't be a more down-to-earth, nicer guy. But don't just take my word for it--read the review.

The next morning I was up bright and early to fly into Atlanta, where my good friend Rutledge picked me up and we headed out to Savannah, she to her conference and me to sight-see. Savannah really is a beautiful town, and the architecture and old-growth tree-lined streets are truly charming. And so much history. I was kind of sleepwalking, and I only had a little time, so there definitely needs to be a return visit. We then headed out to Beaufort, South Carolina to visit our dear friends Don and Selene, who have a Low Country house on Lady's Island. That is one beautiful part of the country: again, I just am a sucker for those mammoth oak trees dripping with Spanish moss. The quiet stillness, the way the sun dapples the calm water as it wends its way among the marshes--fantastic.

L to R: (Don, Marilyn, Selene, Rutledge, Charlie)

And, as usual, Don and Selene are the hosts with the most. They arranged a low-tide kayaking tour, and we saw egrets and ospreys diving for fish in the river, saw fritternaries with Monarch butterfly-like wing patterns, a male blue crab (a "Jimmy") who had just mated with a female (a "Betty") and had clasped her to him to protect her while her shell was soft and she was vulnerable to predators, oysters, and shrimp.
We got to enjoy some fresh-caught crabs from the traps attached to their dock as well. After our other good friend, Marilyn, arrived, the trip also included a tour of downtown Beaufort, which was an extremely wealthy community ever since Colonial times and had the old mansions to prove it, and then an evening boat ride to dinner where we saw a bonnet-head shark and a playful dolphin, who accompanied us part of the way to the meal. Excellent food (including my unfortunate discovery of the delicious glazed cinnamon biscuits made by Hardee's--if I lived in the South I'd weigh about 20 pounds more thanks to those) and even better hospitality.

Last night, my friend Declan Kiely, a curator at the Morgan Library (they have so many events going on these days!) gave an interesting behind-the-scenes talk about some of the great items in their collection, including a fragment of the first trans-Atlantic cable, a letter from George Washington (and information about an early system of copying handwritten letters and his concerns about preventing forgeries), materials relating to the attempted assassination of J.P. Morgan, Jr. and the consummated assassination of Marat by Charlotte Corday (with some great, pithy quotes), correspondence from Hitler (mainly for the watermark), and other items. Fascinating. It's just such a stimulating place to be.

White Trash Day at Great America

2007-10-10T14:19:00.001-07:00

OK, so maybe 2 posts in one day isn't quite kosher, but as my buddy Martin sent this photo along it had to be done.

Last Saturday, a crew of my SF buddies and I set forth for the Paramount Great America amusement park for the 2nd Annual "White Trash Day." Having won 4 free tickets from the Bay Area classical music station (yes, you read that right), I thought we would reprise this successful event.

(L to R: Joe Bialowitz, Chris La Chance, Jacques Lehot, Mark Werling, our mascot, Barrett Fallentine, Charlie, and R. Martin Andersons)

We thought the garbage receptacle was the perfect prop for our "official" photo. May I point out that Chris and Jacques showing up in matching "I heart hot moms" t-shirts was totally serendipitous. So we spent the day eating corn dogs, riding roller coasters to the point of hurling, and generally being agog at how many people's sartorial decisions (notably Raiders gear and camo pants) were in earnest whereas ours were ironic. Also, the rallying cry for the day was "Let's git 'er done!" I have to admit, you get kind of fired up when yelling it while on rides with names like "Delirium." Good times.

2007-10-10T13:09:00.001-07:00

Fall 2007 Eastern Migration Has Occurred

2007-10-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the Big Apple! It's strange to say, but after the incredibly busy summer in California (and China, Hawaii, Houston, Portland, Seattle, and Idaho), it seems like this might almost be more relaxing.

The apartment renovations are finally over, and my designer, Alexa Hampton (www.markhampton.com) and her contractor did a smashing job. Come over for a cocktail and take a gander! I will also post a couple photos shortly.

Next week is the New York premiere of Zelindor, roi des Sylphes. This is the modern premiere of an 18th-century French Baroque opera done by Opera Lafayette (headed by my friend Ryan Brown) and the New York Baroque Dance Company. This one-night-only performance is on October 17. Go here for info and tickets: www.operalafayette.org. I'm helping out as one of the New York liaisons and it should be a wonderful evening of music.

BTW, remind me (if I ever start to spout such nonsense again) that I have vowed never, ever to take the red-eye anymore. Is it me, or did it seem easier to do in my '20s?

Looking forward to a great autumn in my favorite (sorry, San Francisco) city! Thanks for the great summer, SF friends.

Waiting out Round 2 of the NY Renovations

2007-03-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

It's 80 degrees and sunny here in SF. My West Coast roommate, Barrett, and I just got back from an epic ski/booze weekend in Tahoe. Decent but deteriorating snow, and the chance to meet a bunch of my buddy Jacques's excellent friends.

The NY apartment renovations seem to be continuing apace. Hardwood floors are in, ceilings are smoothed, bathroom (and new bathtub) is on its way--we're getting there! I will be back in NYC from March 20-25 to check on the renovations, see friends, and enjoy the Big Apple's incredible cultural offerings.

Thanks to my good friend, Jonathan Funke, for putting this blog together, and I am chagrined it took me so long to get this together. Enjoy and feel free to comment!

Schlangen on the Hudson

2005-03-28T12:32:00.000-08:00

I'll be in NYC starting April 5!